The Constant Star (15)

THE STORY SO FAR

Might get the Brainers noticing you.”

They walk down into the city and make their way to a small, rusted building. Inside there are stairs that lead down to a living area. Macy points to the couch and Siff takes a seat. The smell of dirt and sweat is difficult to ignore. Macy sits on a chair across from her while the two men stand guard: one upstairs and one beside Macy, who just sits and waits.

“Ummm?”

“Yep?”

“What are you doing?”

“You said you had questions. I didn’t have time to answer them before you got here. Now I do though.” Macy leans forward excitedly, “Sooooo…?”

Siff is a bit disconcerted, but takes the opportunity to get her thoughts in order, “How did you hack those headsets, when you first contacted me?”

“I’ve got a bit of a gift with electronics and systems. I can find the pathways and stay hidden. It’s a fun pastime and also a useful one. This is fun. Next!”

“How did you get that headset outside my door just now?”

“That was tricky, but we’ve been watching you for some time and playing different scenarios so we weren’t completely caught off guard. It’s not just me that has an interest in you.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“Oh, you are quick! Good job! And you didn’t even get distracted by my other statement. I think we can use you.”

“Well?”

“You’re not the first Upper-Level dweller we’ve contacted.”

“So someone dropped them off?”

“Yep.”

“Why are you answering my questions?”

“Because there’s no turning back for you now.”

Siff is a bit shocked by that statement, “Why me?”

“That, right there. That is the question. Why you, Siff?” Macy grins and leans back, “Why you? I think it’s my turn to ask some questions.”

“But don’t you already know everything about me?”

“I guess we’ll find out. Tell me about school.”

“What about school?”

“Do you like it?”

“I mean, I guess. To a point.”

“And which point is that?”

“The point where I’m not allowed to think for myself, or question anything.”

“And?”

“The point where people would rather betray and lie than care about me.”

“Yep. There’s a word for that. Some call it education, but that’s the wrong word. Indoctrination. Now that’s a good word. That’s the right word. Your whole life you’ve been told what to think, what to believe, what to know. But you’ve never really bought into it, have you?”

“I guess not.”

“And why is that, Siff?”

She pauses for a second, “Because I can’t believe there is no hope for us. I have to believe humanity can be redeemed. Or what’s the point?”

“What is the point? Exactly. Exactly. But this isn’t about humanity, this is about you. Do you have hope, Siff?”

“I don’t know. I…I’d like to believe I have hope. But the only people who have any kind of hope on this ship are the Chosen Ones. And being one of them is just an impossible dream.”

“Hmmm,” Macy appears to be deep in thought, “Maybe you’re right.” She picks up a tablet and turns the display toward Siff, there is an image of her drawing on it, “Tell me about this picture, Siff.”

“I dunno. I was just dreaming what it would be like to be one of them, you know? To have hope and to be allowed to live and think for myself.”

“And when they found out you like to think for yourself, what happened?”

“…”

“What happened Siff?”

“They turned against me.”

“Who turned against you?”

“Everyone.”

“Who?”

“My boyfriend, my parents…everyone.”

“That’s not quite true, you know.”

“What isn’t?”

“The people didn’t turn against you; society turned against you. And the people who are trapped inside of that society. Is this the first time something like this has happened to you?”

Siff glances down and feels the guilt of a past memory push its way into her heart. Macy continues, “I only ask because Mars said he wouldn’t help you a third time. Which implies this was the second time. Which means…?”

“Yeah.” Siff is getting increasingly uncomfortable.

“What happened Siff? You can tell me. We’re all rejects here.”

“I just,” she starts to tear up, “I just…if I would have just…if I could have just kept my mouth shut…”

Macy leans forward again, empathy in her gaze, “You can tell me, Siff. It’s okay.”

Siff wipes her eyes on her sleeve, looks to Macy for strength, and begins, “I was seven, and I had a best friend. Idun and I would always study and play together. We loved to sit in the gardens and watch the animals and birds. Even though they aren’t real, we would pretend they are. We would pretend a lot of things. We would pretend to be Chosen Ones, we would pretend to be explorers, we would pretend to be on Vesta. My favorite times were when we played at being on Vesta: imagining what it would be like to live on a planet and get to build our own futures.

“We had already been taught by our guardians, but when we started school it was drilled into us that we are worthless, hate-filled, and irreconcilable to the universe. We were taught over and over about how evil we are and how the Chosen Ones are the only hope for humanity. We were taught that no matter how hard we might try to be good, we will never be good enough to deserve a place among the Chosen Ones, or on Vesta.

“It really hurt me, and it hurt Idun as well. We couldn’t bring ourselves to believe we were irreconcilable. Though we could see flaws in ourselves, we both wanted only good things and always tried to be good people, even when no-one was watching. We were sure we could be a healthy humanity, if only the mission would give us freedom to question and grow. We would sit and talk

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