The Constant Star (48)

THE STORY SO FAR

Fog and artificial sky keeps the curve from being fully visible. They take a road that arches into a wooded area. It is beautiful to hear the birds singing and watch them dancing among the trees. The occasional squirrel and hare watch the cart with curiosity before scrambling back into the brush, “This is one of my favourite places. So much life and beauty in here.” Lucas brings the Callio to a halt and ties him to a tree. He pets him a few times and he nuzzles his face. Then he helps Siff from the cart, “This trail here leads to…well, you’ll see.” He smiles.

They walk slowly on the dirt trail, Siff notices his care in making sure she is sure-footed over every rock and root. She is still not up to full strength, and occasionally winces in pain as she moves. But the company is more than worth it, and when she rounds a final corner to see the view she can’t help but gasp, “Oh my god, it’s beautiful.”

A lake spreads open before them, reflecting rainbow colors from the clear sky close to sunset. Woods surround with vibrant greens and wildflowers of purple, blue, oranges, and reds. Soft grass leads to fine sand and a small fire-pit with dead tree trunks serving as benches and chairs. The occasional splash can be seen on the surface as fish play beneath. Lucas leads her to the chairs and Siff sits as he collects some dead branches from a nearby pile and starts the fire. When he finally sits, he chooses to sit next to her. Siff’s heart rate jumps a little. Oh god no. I’m not ready for this. Am I? I just got here. What do I do?

She watches Lucas reach into his pouch and pull out a pastry. He breaks it in half and shares it with her. Siff sits awkwardly staring at the lake, not sure what to do next.

“What’s your family like?”

She looks over to see inquiring eyes and curious smile on crumbed lips. Dammit girl, keep it together, “They aren’t like me. I have parents but my mother doesn’t like me and my dad is just…I dunno…not like me.”

“I guess everyone’s different in their own way, but I’m sure they care about you.”

“My mother? Nope. My father?…He cares. But only so much as to try and make me be like everyone else. And I can’t do that, you know? When someone wants you to be a certain way but if you do it’ll just crush your soul?”

Lucas gives a small laugh in approval, “I’m fortunate that here we try to help each other become who we are. Whatever that may look like. Sure there are duties we have to perform to keep the community alive and healthy, but we always seek to find our soul-call.”

“Soul-call?”

“A purpose to your life. What fulfills your soul. Have you ever sought that out?”

“I’ve never been allowed to. Every time I try to express my heart I get in trouble. I had to conform to be something I’m not. That’s why I left. They kept trying to make me into something I could never be.”

“And do you know what you are?”

“…I don’t think so.”

“If you keep focusing on what you’re not, you won’t find out what you are: there are too many options. Look at the lake, the trees: do you think they think about what they aren’t? Or even what they are? They have just learned to be. They have allowed their nature to govern their lives.”

“Yeah, but they aren’t exactly capable of thought, are they? I’ve got a brain and it needs to analyze every little thing.”

“That’s true, your mind can definitely get in the way. Especially if you’ve been trained to deny your feelings or hide them. It’ll take practice to discover yourself. You’ll have lots of time while you’re here.”

“If I’m allowed to stay.”

“I’m sure the elders will have you. They are very kind and accepting people.”

“I hope you’re right.” She pauses briefly, “What about you? What’s your soul’s call?”

“This. Right here. Being outside in the wild. Tracking, exploring, hunting. I love the adventure and the mystery. I’ve been working on exploring the End Forest, where I found you. The creatures in there are terrifying and fascinating. I want to discover them all.”

“How many have you discovered so far?” Siff remembers her tour of the Needle where she saw multitudes of horrific animals being created.

“Not many. Four, maybe five. They are fiercely territorial, and it’s really difficult to get past even the torrens who live at the edge of the forest. Masking my scent, and traveling in the day, I’ve gotten past them a couple of times. But when I flee and they chase me they always stop before the forest’s edge. They won’t leave it. If I can get by them and to the other side of their territory, I don’t think they will hunt me past it.”

“But the others will. And I have seen some that put the torren to shame. The deeper you go, the worse they get. It was made that way so you would never find the way to the gods.”

“Aha! So there is a way!”

“I guess there must be, but I don’t know where it is.” Siff notices Lucas’ excitement at the possibility of discovering a pathway to the gods. She doesn’t want to encourage him, but trying to warn him only seems to make him more eager. Maybe she can change the subject, “I don’t really want to talk about it. Too many bad memories. What’s your village like?”

“A lot different from yours, it seems. It sounds like the gods don’t have much peace within themselves. I am sorry for your trauma. I hope that here you will find peace.

“My village is wonderful. There are thirty-two of us—mainly

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