The Constant Star (59)

THE STORY SO FAR

The dream of attaining enough purity in ourselves that we could be welcomed into your halls, into your arms. That if we were chosen to be visited it would be a glorious occasion. That your messengers were ones of peace that wanted only to bless our lives and communities.

“And now I stand here burned by your presence. Scalded by your command! My family murdered. My loved ones are ash. And you sit here eating as if it were any other day! You do not mourn for the beauty you have destroyed! How are you a god? How are you holy? Why do you bleed? And why should I not kill you right now?”

“If you kill me, it will not be the end of me. And any satisfaction you gain from vengeance will be short lived. In my time, even these last few terrible days, I have killed many of my own people. I could argue it was out of necessity, but I am haunted by my actions. You deserve to know the truth, and I shall tell you, Lucas, what you dread to hear. I shall tell you the truth that will ruin your faith. I shall do this and then you can kill me if you wish. I ask only that you go with my daughter back to the Gate and return her to her own people.”

“You shall tell me the truth, and then I shall decide whether to honour your wish. I was raised to fear the judgement of the gods, but here I shall judge you. Why did you kill my people?”

“I did not kill your people, it was the decision of the Council to do so, of which I am a member. I was given the opportunity to save my daughter and bring her for judgement, but I was not to save anyone else. If I had attempted to do so, we would have been killed as well.”

“But why? Even after you had struck me, I believed I could reason with my god. Siff had become one of us, I had to try and plea for her. I rode after you, depending on your great mercy and wisdom that I had been taught all my life. ‘The gods are loving.’ ‘The gods are kind.’ I believed these words to be true with all my heart. But as I rode, your wrath struck my people! I was thrown from my horse and burned under his corpse! Saved from death by the fire of my friend, I rose only to see where my village once was. To know that you. You! You have murdered everyone I love! My mother! My father! My family! My friends! They are all burned! Your wrath missed only me, but my wrath shall not miss you. Why? Why did you choose to kill us?”

“We had no choice. To protect the mission. To protect humanity. To do our utmost to ensure the readiness of you all for reaching Vesta, we could not allow you to be infiltrated by our own barbaric nature. Siff fled from us to you, and in so doing brought our thoughts and personalities into your community. She infected you with behavior that is self-destructive and destructive to the universe. We had to eradicate everything she touched in order to preserve the purity of your people. You are more than just humanity. You are humanity’s only hope. And we cannot afford to allow anything to jeopardize that.”

“What do you mean, ‘humanity’s only hope’?”

“Look at us. Lucas, do we look like gods to you? We are human. All the gods are just humans. We all live and die. We all struggle and suffer. But what we are, most of all, is a failed race. We grew to the point of traversing the stars, but our nature is destructive and everywhere we went we destroyed the universe and the natural order of things. Even now we destroy ourselves. Two factions bitterly struggle for control, of which my daughter chose the Rebellion and conspired against me.

“Many centuries ago we saw this nature in ourselves and created a mighty ship to fly us to Vesta, housing all that remains of our race. We called this starship Janus, a vessel for our last remaining hope, and within him we all live. As Janus was being constructed we chose the very best of us and put them in this place. A new home to grow and learn how to be a new humanity: to bring hope to our race that maybe we can live in harmony with nature. We have watched you and guided your development over all generations. We look up to you, we gods. For we are the fallen ones, and you are the exalted. You are so much better than we ever have been, and we watch with excitement and reverence at your development and breadth of understanding. But now I have told you the truth, and the illusion is gone. If you kill me, you shall not kill Jupiter. Jupiter is an office of authority given to an appointed official until their retirement. My name is Baldr, and I am ashamed of what I am, but proud also. I am ashamed of my destructive nature. But I am proud of my willingness to do anything to protect our mission: to see a new humanity created and birthed on a new home.”

“And you knew this?” Lucas’ shocked attention turns to Siff, his blade still at her father’s throat, “When you came to us, you knew all of this? You knew they would kill us all?”

“No! No Lucas, I had no idea, I swear! No-one was supposed to know I was here, it was going to be a secret.”

“But they found you, Siff. And you must have known that was a possibility. They found you and they killed us because of you. You must have known.”

“If I would have known they would do this, I would never…I swear I

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